Terrifying Tap

OK, OK so I said I was going to do better and its only February and I've failed miserably.

So to tap. I have started a beginners tap dancing course. This should be renamed Terrifying Tap. Standing in front of a wall of mirrors for an hour is terrifying enough but then to discover the following is much much worse:
1. I have no balance and trying to stand on one leg is not possible
2. I have no co-ordination whatsoever
3. I do not know my left from my right
4. I am not only the oldest but also the heaviest in the class

and I still went back because its great fun!

Happy New Year

OK so my dear friend Jess has made me feel guilty by resolving to blog every week and by today completing six posts already (cheating I think). And theres me haven't blogged since November!
So new year, new opportunities. My resolutions? Diet (again), fitness (again) and getting my teeth sorted which I have been putting off for ages.
I thought I also should explain the name of the blog and the picture. The picture is of Skiddaw in the Lake District where Steve's ashes are scattered. So I can stand on mountains is taken from the Westlife song 'You Raise Me Up' - if you haven't listened to them they are beautiful:

When I am down and, oh my soul, so weary;
When troubles come and my heart burdened be;
Then, I am still and wait here in the silence,
Until you come and sit awhile with me.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up...To more than I can be.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up...To more than I can be.

There is no life - no life without its hunger;
Each restless heart beats so imperfectly;
But when you come and I am filled with wonder,
Sometimes, I think I glimpse eternity.

You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up...To more than I can be.
You raise me up, so I can stand on mountains;
You raise me up, to walk on stormy seas;
I am strong, when I am on your shoulders;
You raise me up...To more than I can be.
You raise me up...To more than I can be.

Martin Burton

My amazing friends Sue and Nigel allowed The Guardian to follow their meeting with their son's liver recipient. This is their story

http://www.guardian.co.uk/society/video/2008/nov/18/organ-donation

The Great Opt Out Debate

Well, yesterday saw the release of the Organ Donation Task Force report on presumed consent. And what a debate it has caused. I was priviliged to sit on the Clinical Working Group of the Task Force that debated the issue and have read the full report so was interested to see how the whole thing was portrayed. And as usual it wasn't great. It's a very emotive subject - especailly if you are on the transplant list and waiting for your call.
However, presumed consent isn't necessarily the answer and certainly not at the moment. There are also many myths - moving to an 'opt out' system alone will not increase donation rates overnight and not without significant investment in infastructure and education.
There are so many things that can be done to increase donation rates without changing the system, many of them contained in the main task force report, that need to be done first. Things like sorting out infastructure - making sure there are enough co-ordinators is one; putting money into education and public awareness; making sure every family who is in a position to be asked about organ donation is actually asked. So lets do those first and then review the position - the report recommends that presumed consent is reviewed in five years to give time to implement the main report and monitor its effectiveness.
The one good thing to come out of yesterday is that at least ithas encourage debate again and put organ donation on the news (although interstingly by 10pm it had dropped off the news altogether).
The gift of life is an amazing gift to be given. Talk to most donor families or recipients and they will tell you that. Opt out takes away that gift and takes advantage of people's apathy.
Here endeth the lesson.

Extra-ordinary Women

I have been privileged this week to hear some amazing life-stories told by three equally amazing women. It is very humbling to hear the enormity and extremes of behaviour and abuse that these women have endured. Despite all that has happened to them they have survived. In fact they have more than survived - they are conmpassionate, caring individuals with a strong sense of humour in tact, faith and a startling honesty. They are symbols of hope and of what can be achieved in the darkest of circumstances. To all appearances they are just 'ordinary' women - how on earth do we recognise and celebrate how 'extra-ordinary' they actually are?

Stories

Following on from how to describe myself comes the dilemma of when do you tell someone new in you life your story? We all have stories they are the things that shape who we are. As we get older we have more complex stories. But when you are privileged and lucky enough to make new friends where do you start? They take you as what they see in front of them, without knowing what or who has made you what you are. The people who are currently in our lives are their to see and tell their own stories.

This became clear to me this week talking to a new friend, someone I've known for a while now but we realised that I didn't know her background or she mine. Maybe it is just a natural part of any new friendship - learning about each others likes and dislikes, their friends and families and their stories is all just part of it. It comes out bit by bit not in one huge lump, you don't have to swallow it whole in one go.

I think the thing that makes it poignant is that for me my story includes another person, and many of the friends I have today didn't know him. So it can be hard to talk about him sometimes because there is no shared experience or memory. I suppose it becomes like reading about a character in a book - so its up to me to make my descriptions and reminisences more real to make the character come alive. When you read a book you expect to experience laughter and tears and life is the same.

Descriptions

Why is is so difficult to write a description of yourself? I sat down to write mine for this blog and stared at an empty sheet of paper. Nothing to say? Surely not, usually shutting me up is the problem. Its just that how do you describe yourself - are you too honest or too kind? Will people actually recognise me from my description ? Do friends see us in the same way that we see ourselves? I find myself almost embarrased to try and describe myself and conscious of the fact that maybe I don't really know who I am or that how I want to describe myself is how I want to be not how I am. So for now my description is just a list of the things I know I am and when inspiration strikes me I'll change it to something more like me.